E

Letting Go

He is almost seven.

I remember when he was a tiny newborn and I cried because one day he wouldn’t need me as much. I wanted him to stay my tiny baby forever.

Except he didn’t. And, really, I never wanted him to.

Now, he is growing up so fast. Being fresh out of kindergarten means he has suddenly reached an age where new doors are open. Many of those doors come in the form of summer camps.

It is SO exciting and a bit hard and a bit awesome. Summers used to be just us. E and me. Then, E and D and me. Then, when The Dad became a firefighter, it was often all of us (and that was a mix of exciting, hard and awesome too!).

Part of me wants him to be mine all summer. But most of me realizes he can’t be and he shouldn’t be.

I can’t be the new friend from camp. I can’t be the first time canoeing without an adult. I can’t be the soccer camp that builds his confidence. I can’t be all of the exciting stories. If I were, there would be no stories to tell.

He is gaining so much more than I alone can give him. And I am still there. There for vacations, there to drop off and pick up from camps, there to listen to the stories of excitement, there to swim and to go to the library and to get ice cream. But, he is more than just here…he is creating his own world.

And I am letting go…and holding on. Trusting that these first steps of letting go help him learn and grow and gain confidence and independence. Trusting his roots hold strong and his wings fly high.

I am so proud to be his mom.

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